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Prey

All I hear is the wind howl.

Scares me to think what it hides.

Darkness stares deeply and prowls

Around me, fooling my eyes.

I was wise to learn from you,

But foolish to leave my home.

Dreams now too old to come true,

And I fear being alone.

I don’t matter to what’s here;

Just a thing to hunt and eat.

Madness steeps my heart in fear,

Fills my ears with every beat.

I think my mind atrophied;

My throat has nothing to share.

The wind drowns out all I need,

And the darkness never cared.

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Life Sentence

Holding my head in my hands for two years.

Fooled me so often, don’t know him in mirrors.

He’s crude and forgotten and fattened with fear.

Surely, I’m better than what I see here.

Is there a place where disgrace is best faced?

Chased family and friends in case they embrace

Me, erasing escaping in the first place just tames.

See what sins begin spilling willingly,

When filling with the chilling possibility,

that I’m admitting living miserably.

Killing more fitting than forgiving me.

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Sabotage

When I hit rock bottom last summer,

So somber and rotten, I’d sought

Out a lover. Forgotten to

call her, then split early autumn.

By winter, my bitterness festers

and lingers, depresses and hinders

Interest in the simplest assistance

Requested. Defeated, why plead with the

healers that treat it. Discreetly

retreat as the next person needs it.

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Therapy Session

I look as though I stand

For something respectable.

Faking while shaking hands

Is a skin and digestible.

Mistaking my statements

For trading identical

chemical cadences.

You’re a forgettable

business arrangement

Displayed so engagement

Is witnessed first hand!

Not that you see your

Own head in the sand.

Why do I always pick

Sides when beside them

Despite that I’m sick

and in need of confiding?

They always seemed mean

When I needed it least.

Looked at my face and seen

All my grief. I’m not keen

On repeating displeasing

Relief to pay for an hour that

Doesn’t come cheap.

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Shame of Synchronicity

I feel I’ve been waiting for numbers

I see, like 11:11 or 3:14,

To speak and to steal me from slumbers

Unseen. Please dreamy beings just beam

Me aboard to absorb all the crumbs

You ignored on the floors, ’til I flee

Mortal coils; reborn unencumbered!

But my timing divining aligns

With designs of the mind set on finding

Some meaning in grinding through life’s

Ever winding, obscene little staircase.

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Dating Me

I like to walk around at night.

Feels right. Might be that dark is lighter

On my soul, despite my fighting

Eyes beholding shadows forming;

Warnings scold my peaceful roaming.

Delight advising cries inside me

Insightful lies to smite my whining.

Find it’s time to breathe in deeply.

Feel me melt into existence.

Below my feet, I ground resistance

Free by feeling what’s persistant;

Tears absolving time and distance.

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A Fool’s Repent

I made you a promise once,

Dime and a nickel ago.

To do the best to honor us.

Time can be so fickle though.

Find it rarely trickles slow.

Rewind all my excuses so,

Reminding who I used to know

Designs me in a better way.

Describe your heart with words I say

Defined by what I miss today.

Refined by everything you pray.

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The Grasshopper

On a good day, it seems.

Dial’s cranked to the teens

Kindly mind me beside thee,

It’s hot in these jeans.

Find I’m rude to extremes,

Then I start to get mean.

I’m rotting while plotting

What’s causing disease.

I simmer like dinner is

thinner for bingers

who lingered in winter;

So thin like a stinger

That’s slimmer when nearer.

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Spilled Milk

Beckoned fleeting reflections of you.

Behold to unfold such connection, it’s

True that I missed most the meat

on my bones due to you. Forgetting

to eat as I wander the wood.

But the smile on your face brings a magical mood,

And familiars are sweet. Look! They greet me with food!

Spend years here in place of my usual zoo.

But…I fail to negate the rate of elation

that races to spaces of imagination

Makes me want to keep this and hold it in station

So sickened with hubris I ended up wasting.

If it goes back to the ether, was it ever created?

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Mental Health Day

I woke up, too tired to fight.

Opened my eyes, then closed them tight.

My broken mind was wired all night.

Choking the sight of me out of my life.

Think it’s best to hide away.

Shrink and nest inside today.

Blink twice to miss my life this way.

My stink depresses, please don’t stay.

I wouldn’t even remember me.

I couldn’t reason tranquility,

And shouldn’t receive transparency;

A fool, so leave the lights off please.

As only holes are welcome here.

The lonely souls you cannot fill.

Alone, yet something hates me still.

To sleep is justice unfulfilled.

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Nighttime Kisses

Gosh, her name’s been on my mind;

Never a better soul you’d find.

Washed my shame and clawed my hide,

Squashed the pain when I confide.

Let it wet her eyes in pleasure

Splendid fevers I provide.

Toss, dismember, put back together

Ending severs what I decide.

Regretting never – we are forever!

Spending futures with her in sight.

Render splendor in the center

of her forehead every night.

Tired

I feel so alone.

Been detached for so long,

There’s no point to be strong.

Like a fox in the city,

I’ve no will to belong.

My past, it stays near, see

Them trying to need me;

Don’t need you all, clearly

I dug this hole slowly.

God, show me a new creed

To appease all the screaming,

And see dreams I believe

In and stop all the bleeding.